Sunday, February 8, 2015

round & round & round

A brief update: I've moved from the Jealousy-Inducing House (see previous post) to a house on a lake overlooking mountains. It's a less glamorous house, and a better fit for me. I'm right in town, within walking distance of everything. It's very good. And the couches and chairs are comfortable. And there's a tea kettle (the glamorous house had every kitchen gadget known to humankind, but I could not find a tea kettle--??). I'm grateful to the owners of this house for many reasons, and mostly for asking me to be in their house while they are gone on vacation for the next five weeks.

I've been listening to the Dixie Chicks on the stereo and singing.

I have friends here in Sitka. More friends than I had the whole time I was in the Bay Area (though the friends I did have there were lovely, and still are lovely, and I miss them). There are certain parts of culture in Alaska that make more sense to me than culture anywhere else. Like the way that people loan you things you need. If you need a car, and someone has a spare car, they loan it to you. If you need food, people give you food. If you need a skillsaw, someone will loan you a skillsaw. It's a libertarian culture, which I think outsiders think means that everyone keeps to themselves forever and doesn't want to share. But that's not remotely the case. It's just that Alaskans don't want to be commanded to share. But left to their own devices, at least on the level of friends and community, this is by far a more sharing community than all the progressive places I've lived--and I've lived in some of the most progressive places in the country.

So that's curious.

There are other parts of Alaskan culture that are less awesome. More about that another time.

I now will make a thematic jump. The jump is to a website/sub-website that I found yesterday, by chance. It is a sex sub-reddit community on What this means is that the website, (which is like a mega-site for a bunch of other internet site) has a sub-site (like a sub-culture) that is focused on sex.

Now, I want to recommend this sub-site, but I want to state very clearly that this recommendation is not for everyone. This sub-site is within the "sex positive" culture, meaning that it's part of a culture that is embracing of people of "all genders" (queer, gay, straight, transsexual, etc.), and it is also a culture that is also embracing of polyamory (having more than one sexual partner), as well as monogamy, polyandry, polygamy, and all sorts of other sexual expressions and experiences. So if engaging with such a sub-culture does not sound great and awesome to you, I recommend not even clicking on this link.

If, however, you are down with sex positive culture, or at least down with most of it, or at least aware of what "sex positive" means and have pondered it thoughtfully in the past, or at least not offended and upset by vast explorations of sexuality, then I recommend this sub-reddit group!! It seems to be filled with lots of respectful, informed, thoughtful, curious, cool people. I frankly have never encountered any website, especially a website with thousands of visits a day, where people are talking about sex and bodies and relationships in such positive ways. It's crazy! Everywhere from youtube to The Atlantic is full of lost souls saying awful things about women's bodies and women in general and being alive in general.

You can also ask questions on this sub-reddit group. Or just read around.

So, without further ado:

Let me add one more disclaimer: By posting the link to this group I'm not claiming to condone or endorse any particular thing that anyone in the group is saying. There are varying opinions and experiences and expressions going down in the conversations there. I do, however, condone lots of respect and lots of openness and lots of listening and lots of acceptance. And that seems to be going down in most of the conversations. And that is very, very cool.

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