Thursday, October 9, 2014

weather forecast

One of my primary forms of entertainment in Sitka is reading or listening to the weather forecast. It is so funny! Because with perfectly straight faces the forecasters say the exact same thing over and over. It's like listening to the weather forecast in San Diego: "Yes, folks, it's going to be sunny today. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT IT WOULD BE?" Except here in Sitka, obviously, it's rain.

I sort of think that all the weather forecasters (which, I mean, there must be about 2.5 weather forecasters here, so) should issue a public statement that says, "Comrades, we live in a rain forest. Sitka is situated in the Tongass National Forest which is a rainforest. Therefore, you can probably imagine to yourselves what the weather is going to be today, tomorrow, the next day, and for time immemorial, or until climate change completely jacks up everything. Plan accordingly."

At the house where I'm staying, I get a daily newspaper. I will now tell you, in reverse order, what the forecast is each day in the paper.

Oct 8: Rain likely
Oct 7: Mostly cloudy
Oct 6: Rain
Oct 5: Rain
Oct 4: Rain
Oct 3: Rain likely
Oct 2: Rain likely
Oct 1: Mostly clear
Sept 30: Showers likely
Sept 29: Rain
Sept 28: Rain
Sept 27: Rain
Sept 26: Some rain
Sept 25: Rain likely
Sept 24: Chance of rain
Sept 23: Mostly rain
Sept 22: Rain
Sept 21: Rain
Sept 20: Rain
Sept 19: Mostly rain
Sept 18: Rain likely
Sept 17: Rain
Sept 16: Chance of rain
Sept 15: Rain
Sept 14: Partly cloudy
Sept 13: Partly cloudy
Sept 12: Chance of rain
Sept 11: Chance of rain

See what I mean? Very entertaining. By the way, on the days when I just put "rain," it's because it's the weekend paper and they don't have room for words, only for pictures. And on those days there is simply, with no need for further explanation, a picture of rain droplets falling from the sky.

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